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Where do I start? OK so I have been in Thailand for 13 days now, I think. So I left you in Hong Kong. The next day I flew out of Hong to Bangkok, a two and half hour flight made all the more pleasant by a nice little upgrade to business class. Ace. I was addressed by my name, e.g. "sorry to bother you Mr Schoenherr but will you be having the seared tuna fish steak or the foie-gras for breakfast, and perhaps a little champagne?" and I got to choose from a variety of different CD's and videos to enjoy that you can start and stop as I so desire. I was a bit nervous about checking in because I was under the impression that Cathay Pacific were one of the airlines that won't let you board without the entry requirements, I had neither a Thai visa or an onward ticket. For those not in the travel industry it has to do with the fact that the airline would be liable to deport me and pay a hefty fine in the region of 1000-2000 pounds. But anyway no problems there and a couple of hours later we touched down in Bangkok. 

So, Bangkok. I was anticipating a rush of touts all trying to get business to their preferred guesthouses but I managed to walk the length of Khao Sanh (the main backpacker street) without being approached once. India this was not. Spent the rest of that day walking up and down Khao Sanh road. To be honest it is a bit of a dump, full of stalls catering to every travelling whim and need. You can get copy CD's, DVDs, clothes, food, books, and just about anything else. The only thing I found useful on the first day was a trip to Boots to get some malaria tablets. They were dirt cheap. One aspect of Khao Sanh that I did enjoy however is the fact that you choose the restaurant you eat at based on the film they are showing, mostly brand new Hollywood blockbusters and certain cult classics. The main problem however with Khao Sanh is the clientele. Though I will not go into that now because it would take another twenty minutes to decipher my wild diatribe, needless to say I am not all that keen on travellers who have just got their latest allowance from mummy and daddy and spend it on getting dreadlocks and fisherman’s pants. Give them a copy of a Bob Marley CD and a t-shirt with the lyrics to Redemption Song on it and they think they are going to change the world.  

Wat Pho

I then spent two days wandering all over Bangkok, and believe me its a big place, I still have a list of things to do a mile long for when I go back there. Highlights of the first day including visiting Wat Pho to see the reclining Buddha, which was excellent though I always thought it was outside but its actually within the temple. Across the river is Wat Arun, also known as the Temple Of The Dawn. This was OK. After this a quick wander through the Chinatown district finished my off. The second day I went up to the Dusit area and wandered around the Kings Palace and Government buildings (around, but not in). I was going to lie and tell someone I was Tony Blair’s nephew in order to see the King but I picked too many flaws and realised it wouldn't work! Also in this area is the Marble temple and I ended up chatting to this elderly couple from Phuket who invited me to stay with them in Phuket and also invited me out to dinner that night. I had to decline politely as I had already made plans. There was also a group of school kids who made me take their picture and shouted things at me in Thai. I asked the woman what they said but she said they were calling me "a very nice man", either she was lying or the school children over here are much better behaved than at home. Anyway the plans I had made for that night was to go to a Thai boxing fight, which I did. It was ace. They are allowed to kick, elbow, knee or punch, which makes it a lot tougher than our Queensbury pugilists are used to. Punching is eschewed upon though, elbows and knees are the most graceful blows. The ringside gamblers reminded me much of going to Great Yarmouth dog track, the animated way in which bets are placed, won or lost. I finished the night by walking through Patpong, the go-go bar area of Bangkok. This was just as I expected, tacky, seedy and full of overweight, balding western men. If you have been to Amsterdam or Hamburg you will know what I mean.  As you walk along boys and girls jump out with these lists of what is going on in the clubs, I won't reproduce it here. All I saw was loads of girls up on bars dancing in bikinis while men (and some women) leer at them. Sad. 

I spent the next two days on a trek around Kanchanaburi, sight of the Bridge of the river Kwai and the resulting war cemetery. The cemetery itself was very sobering, I visited Claires Nan's first husbands grave and laid a flower. Spent the rest of the day Bamboo rafting (quite boring) on the River Kwai and went out to Erewon waterfalls about 60 km out of town. Whilst some of the others from the tour bathed in the waterfall I trekked up to the top and back, a feat that almost killed me and made me very late. We spent the night in Bamboo huts over the river which was pretty cool, I could see the river about a foot below me when I was in bed, there were 8 people there who had just finished PGCE's in Leeds so I hung about with them. The highlights of the second day were walking across a river on a log (the Beer Chang still floating around in me made balancing harder than I thought) and going on an elephant ride. We came back to Bangkok after a short trip on the death railway. 

Bridge over the River Kwai

After these exertions I needed a few days R and R so I headed off down to Koh Samet, looking forward to some isolation. It was quite busy however as people flock there due to its close proximity to Bangkok compared with the beaches in the south (the Samui achipelago, Phuket, Phi Phi) and the fact that it doesn't seem to be affected much by the monsoon. However it was quite overcast whilst I was there. I did manage to get away a little bit though by walking for a bit away from the pier. In many resorts like this why do people just plump for nearest place when the beach is usually much nicer a bit further along? We noticed this in Sri Lanka also. 

So after returning to Bangkok and spending a day out at Ayuthaya, the ancient capital of Thailand, wandering around the ruins, which were really interesting and beautiful and also spread over a formidable area. I now find myself up in Chiang Mai. 

Now apart from the trip to Ayuthaya (I used Thai Railways for a fraction of the cost) I have booked all the other trips and tours from a travel agent as the prices are good and its so easy. This gives the last two weeks kind of the feel of a package holiday. I booked a bus up to Chiang Mai and it included a free nights accommodation, all for 150 baht (some agents were offering it at 100 baht but I trust one particular agent enough to pay a little more). The room itself costs 130 baht. I was expecting some sort of a catch like an extra "tax" or electricity supplement or something, but nothing of the sort. Its a really nice place as well, it has a swimming pool and hot water, two rare luxuries. 

Yesterday I hired a 125cc motorbike to go up to the hills to Wat Phra Doi Suthep. Once I got there I realised I was almost out of petrol and had to buy some from this street stall, supplied in used whiskey bottles. Nice. Anyway I was so into the riding that I didn't really pay much attention to the temple and within half an hour I was back on the road. I felt like a cross between Easy Rider and Barry Sheen, on Paul Wellers bike! After I had visited a Hmong hill tribe village, which was interesting but just a tourist trap, I took the bike down towards the town and spent the afternoon opening up along the bypass and just cruising about. I got 100 kmh out of it but then everything started to shake, rattle and roll so I had to slow down! 

So to finish my first Thailand tour I spent today wandering around Chiang Mai. There are over 300 hundred temples in the city, but I picked just three to visit. I spent about two hours at the last one, Chedi Luang, speaking to three monks about the differences between Thailand and England. They kept asking me questions about Christianity and the differences between it and Buddhism though and I had a hard time explaining to them that religion isn't a part of everyday life in England. Oh well. Right that’s about it. Sorry to have bothered you all. I will go now. I have to go to Chiang Khong tomorrow and cross the border into Laos the day after.