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I hope you all appreciate this email because I have interrupted my hectic sunbathing schedule to send it. I am on Koh Samui right now, Lamai beach to be exact. I am very pleasantly surprised. Its supposed to be the second most popular beach on the island after the Tenerife-esque Chaweng but its deserted. I guess everyone has gone to Phan Ngan to warm up for the full moon.  Anyway I digress as Samui is not the subject of this email.

After being hassled by a lady boy on Khao Sanh road at 5:00 am (how much more of a Bangkok cliche could it be) I managed to jump in an airport bound mini-bus. I was disappointed by Bangkok Don Muang airport, the only food outlet open in the morning was KFC, so there I was at 7:30 munching on a Zinger burger. The flight to Yangon (Rangoon) was an uneventful, brief trip. Once there however I realised my backpack had been torn which I found irritating. Nevermind. On arrival I realised that the FEC system has been scrapped 2 days before, meaning I did not have to change 200USD for this monopoly money that is supposed to equal the dollar but actually doesn’t. The official reason given was that the economy is strong enough and doesn’t need it, I think that the recent international pressure might have something to do with it.

Yangon is a strange city, years of neglect have left most of it derelict and rising from this sprawl are the various government funded building projects. The British influence is also still apparent both in the architecture and in the way of life. The city is a strange mix of Burmese tradition diluted by British, Indian and Chinese influence. It was so good to be back in a place serving Masala Dosai for breakfast and Biryiani for dinner. The main attraction in Yangon is the massive, impressive and somewhat kitch Shwedagon pagoda. Also it was my first experience of goverment fees, five USD to get in, despite my diligent efforts to slip through unnoticed. I would spend the next few weeks trying to avoid these as much as possible, to help both my wallet and my conscience. I spent the rest of the day in Yangon walking around (not inside - USD2 fee) the lake area.

Shwedagon Pagoda

The next stop on my trip was Bagan, sight of South East Asia's other famous ruins. A night bus ride from Yangon the lowlight being the Myanmar "in-flight" movie, worse than the worst soap opera you can imagine, with intermittent breaks for propaganda messages, Bagan could not come quick enough for me. Whilst not as aesthetically impressive as those at Angkor, the place was deserted and I had a peaceful day cycling around them. The most impressive feature is the sheer number of temples and the area they cover and this was made apparent when I climbed one to see the panoramic view. I spent the day wandering around six or seven, just the tip of the iceberg but enough for me.

Bagan

Next stop Mandalay. Not the romantic place of dreams that you may imagine, rather a filthy town. The two highlights are Mandalay hill (no longer a USD3 fee) the views from which are impressive and the Royal Palace, from where the king was exiled to India when we plundered our way through. I spent the morning at the hill, taking a long time to walk up because there are many pagodas along the way to stop at. After a few hours and a brief storm (and it wasn’t heavy monsoonal rain like usual, it was that fine rain that soaks you through) I headed to the Palace. Surrounded by the Fort (with a perimeter of approx 8 kms) you have to register to be allowed in and even then you have to stick to authorised paths only, basically a straight road from the East gate to the palace and a circle of the palace. Entering the Fort is free but there is a USD10 fee for the palace and I refused to pay. Also someone told me they used draft labour to rebuild the palace so I will claim that as my reason. I walked around the outside of it, pretty impressive, even straying off of the authorised area (naughty, naughty).

The main attraction of Mandalay is not the city itself but the ancient cities around it. I spent a day touring these, eschewing the overpriced organised tours and jumping on the back of a pick-up truck with about 27 Burmese, some in the back, some on the roof. The first was Sagaing where I met an old trishaw driver called Maung Tai who offered to take me all around Sagaing for 3 dollars, including getting me up the Sagaing hill for free, instead of 3 dollars. Thinking I would rather my money went to him and not SLORC (SPDC now but I think the old moniker -SLORC- sounds more evil). He kept his word as we sneaked up the side entrance to the hill, joining the main route after the guards. Sagaing hill was much like Mandalay but more impressive, both in itself and the panoramas. From here I saw the most famous temple in Sagaing, apparantly its shape was based on a rather full-figured Burmese queens breast! My other memory of Sagaing is visiting a gem painting workshop. At first I thought this was the hard-sell moment but I soon realised I was being taken to see how they do it, as each painting costs thousands of pounds. Its an amazingly intricate job and I was impressed. Unfortunately I was banned from taking pictures, I was told it was to protect secrets from getting out but I have a feeling the average employee's age of 14 or 15 had something to do with it. Still it was a very secret operation and I was glad to have seen it. After this Maung bought my lunch for me, and continued to treat me to all kinds of snacks and drinks throughout the day. I took him with me to Ava Island, another of the ancient cities (once the capital of Myanmar) and we spent the afternoon riding on a horse and cart seeing all sorts of ancient buildings, including a teak monastry used as a school. I said goodbye to the Maung as we returned to Sagaing and headed back to Mandalay, stopping briefly at Amamapura to see a famous teak bridge, apparantly the longest in the world. Pretty neat, as bridges go.

After this hectic start to the trip I started to slow down somewhat. The next stop was Pyin U Lwin (formerly Maymyo) a really nice hill station from the colonial days. The only major sight was that ever-present remnant of the British Empire, the botanical garden. This one was absolutely incredible however and reminded of the What did the Romans ever do?" sketch in Monty Python (what did the British ever do for us? Well they built the railways. Apart from that? Well the botanical gardens.

Pyin U Lwin Botanical Gardens

Over the next few days I went further into the Shan state stopping at Hsipaw where there was not much else to do other than relax, enjoy a Shandy and crisps, read and wander around. I did do a good deed here though. One of the guys at the hotel saw me listening to my Discman and asked if I had Hotel California, when I told him I did he was so excited he nearly fell off his chair. I let him listen to it (at full blast as is the Asian way) and when it had finished gave him the CD. He was so pleased he kissed me! I told him its an MP3 CD and hope he realises that he has now got 4 Eagles albums, 4 Simon and Garfunkel albums, 4 Byrds albums and 7 Creedence Clearwater Revival albums.

My final stop in this direction was at Lashio. This had only been reopened to foreigners recently as it is supposedly awash with Chinese smugglers, laden with teak, drugs and girls, and ethnic insurgents. All I found was an inability to accept me at guesthouse due to not possessing the correct licences. I found myself in a taxi back to Pyin U Lwin, my favourite place anyway, fairly shortly. I spent the day on a road trip around this part of Myanmar with the driver, his mate and a Burmese guy heading for Pyin U Lwin. We stopped at places to drop things off, pick things up, see people and buy food and drinks. We were travelling in convoy with another car and I think there was a bit of the Fast and Furious going on as we hurtled into the many switchbacks signalling the ascent to Pyin U Lwin.

So, back in Pyin U Lwin with nowt else to do but hang about, relax, enjoy being in a country with next to zero tourists. I spent the days wandering around, frequenting the Golden Triangle Cafe and the nights in a backstreet restaurant, eating cold curry (local delicacy) served with all sorts of free side dishes, the obligatory soup, different salads and pickles, washed down with many cups of Chinese tea.  Often I would eat whilst watching Premiership football. In Myanmar I managed to catch a fair few games - Chelsea vs. Leicester and the Merseyside derby being highlights. Football is massive in Myanmar, probably more so than any other Asian country. They get 6 live matches each weekend spread over two channels. We don't even get live games on Saturdays! They are all proper fans too - I met Charlton, Bolton and Villa fans amongst the more obvious Man Utd/Liverpool/Arsenal ones. They have a weekly magazine (1st Eleven) dedicated to the Premiership and another one for Serie A. Also whilst in Yangon I saw a school book for teaching English based on football stories, a quick browse revealed the George Graham bung scandal amongst many other stories of cheats and bribes! A good role model?

On one day I met a great old man called Raymond Bwa (this was his old name, I couldn't pronouce his new Govt-approved one) and, after buying me coffee, he gave me a seaty on his bike around the area. We visited the Candacraig hotel, I was pleased to see it because its in "Great Railway Bazaar" by Paul Theroux which I had read. He also took me to the old railway "barracks" and we visited his son who works as an engineer. His son gave us both passionfruit. When we went to Raymonds house he made his wife get up and meet me, she is very ill and was not impressed and he gave me a present of a fried egg and made me passionfruit juice with the one he had been given. After this he took me back and bought me a street delicacy on the way, causing a stir with the locals as he translated my appreciation of the food! He was just a nice old man and wanted nothing but to talk to me. I think his celebrity status also rose for the day. Andy Warhols 15 minutes.

After a brief stop back in Mandalay (another few visits to Nylon Ice Cream) I took the bus down to Inle lake. This is probably the most popular place for travellers in Myanmar and it came as a shock to be amongst tourists again! It also proved harder to find cheap food, the local stalls being replaced with more expensive restaurants. Still I found one eventually and rice porridge and noodle soup never tasted so good! The main attraction here is the lake and I met up with two Portuguese guys and we took a boat trip with a friendly Intha fisherman (they row their boats with their legs wrapped round the oars, very strange). We mainly saw factories though as I think the guy was trying to get a commission. We were bad customers though! The umbrella, silk and silver factories were OK but a little boring (the wooden foot powered lathe being the highlight) but I really enjoyed the ironworks (I think its a boys thing). The final factory was a cigar, or cheroot, factory. OK but its not Cuba is it. The final stop on the trip was to the Jumping Cat monastery where a group of enterprising monks have trained cats to jump through hoops and as a result attract all the tourist boats!
 

Inle Steelworks

Another couple of days relaxing around Naungshwe (the town at the north of the lake) and I was ready to head back to Yangon and to go home. I was trying to conserve as much money as possible so did not buy any food at the lunch stop on the long 18 hour bus ride. The guy behind me (I was the only tourist on the bus) must have noticed and at the dinner stop he offered to buy mine. I refused but he insisted and I was soon tucking into a plate of fried rice. At the supper stop I only drank the free Chinese tea but as we boarded the bus he gave me two hard-boiled eggs he had bought for me. How nice are the Myanma people? I couldn’t seem to spend money! I probably earn their annual income ten-fold and yet they are eager to treat me to meals and all sorts.

So back in Yangon, another chance to enjoy Dosai and Biryiani before flying back to Bangkok. I haven't really talked about the regime, maybe because apart from the regular road checks and searches and the occasional presence of armed soldiers in the streets, as a visitor its influence is not immediately recognised. Speak to any Burmese for a few minutes and if they want to they will lower their voice, look quickly around for informers and let you know what they think. Also I wouldn't be surprised if something drastic doesn't happen in the next few months. Theres a funny feeling going on. But who am I to comment so I will leave it there. I was surprised to see Suu Kyi on the front page of the Bagkok Post on the plane, reports of her hunger strike. This is the sort of news that gets purged long before anyone in Myanmar would hear it.

I will leave you on a final note - all the cars in Myanmar are right hand drive models, yet they drive on the right hand side. This confused me until I found out that one of the generals had ordered the switch when his spritual advisor told him he would receive better karma if he switched all things from left to right. Thats funny, I thought stopping the oppression of your own people would have a better impact.