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The
Federated States – 21/10/03
OK so this will be my last lengthy discourse for a while so
please bear with me and it will all be over very soon. I was
going to call it 'The Last Resort' as I thought I was going to
finish at a beach resort, but I haven't so I didn't name it
that.
So I left you in Singapore with nasty feet and the locals
casting me off as another weird farang who has gone bamboo.
From there I made a break for the West coast of Malaysia in
order to lie low for a few days and recover. This did not happen
however as I bumped into some of the nicest people I have met on
this trip, a Scouse lad named Scott, Nathan from Northampton,
and Debbie from Birmingham. My first night in Melaka was quite
low-key, just watching a couple of Premiership games. It was the
second night when the fun really began as we polished off a
litre of whisky and a bottle of vodka. Before we knew it we had
discussed, chatted and argued our way into daylight so we all
trundled off for that typical Asian breakfast...noodles. Having
not pulled an all-nighter since University I was a bit out of
practise and I am sure that I looked a strange sight as I walked
around Melaka dazed, confused and barefoot! When I got around to
the sightseeing I was impressed with Melaka, the mix of Malay,
Chinese, Portuguese and Dutch culture is pretty stunning.
 From Melaka we headed up to Tanah Rata in the Cameron Highlands,
staying in a guesthouse built from old WWII buildings which was
fun. This worked well for me because it gave me a timely
reminder of what I am heading back to on the 25th October.
Because of its altitude its the place to get your trousers and
jumpers out and where you need three blankets on your bed.
In addition the regional past-times are drinking tea (from the
local plantations), eating strawberries (grown locally) and
walking. We bolstered our platoon in the Camerons by enlisting
various Germans. We spent nearly a week up in the Hills some of
us doing walks, others spending a couple of hours at the local
golf course (a social centre in the colonial age) practising our
putting. One effect of heading into cooler climes is that it
sends your appetite soaring. As does alcohol and with whisky at
only 3 quid a litre and vodka at 4 quid a bottle you can imagine
how much I have been eating. All the weight I lost in the first
three and a half months has been put back on in about two weeks.
Still Malaysian food is amazing, the best in SEA, so I am not
complaining.The main
reason we stayed up there so long was waiting for the England
vs. Turkey game (Come on England!). This kicked off at 1:00am
Malaysian time so you can imagine the state some of use were in,
we had to watch the replay the next day. A highlight of the game
was when Robin (one of the German lads) started singing "I Love
You Wayne Rooney", which we all found highly amusing. As Debbie
said you have not lived until you have seen a German singing
that.
Tea plantation, Cameron Highlands
Having become tired of wrapping myself up in a blanket nursing a
"nice cup of tea" during the afternoons, we headed off
to Penang, a large island connected to the mainland by the
longest bridge in South East Asia. Staying in Georgetowns
"Little India" increased the food consumption as me,
Scott and Nathan were well impressed with the variety of
flavours of Roti (like a wrapped pancake) on offer. Nothing
beats Cheese and Egg though. Nathan was so excited he fully
utilised the restaurants 24-hour opening to creep out for a
midnight roti. The drinking continued in Penang and after a
particularly heavy night I found myself drinking three bags of
curry gravy for a dare, partaking in a spot of impromptu
weight-lifting and necking the remains of the vodka with Scott
and Nathan as the idea of leaving some in the bottle became
absurd. Too beaucoup!
Having spotted an article in the New Straits Times we became
excited by the fact that the grand final of Miss Penang 2003 was
being held whilst we were there. Of course such a cultural event
could not be missed and we found ourselves on a bus heading
towards the 5-star Gurney hotel just outside of Georgetown. We
arrived early and wasted time at a local stall where the owner
tried to convince us he used to be a judge in Miss Penang (and
now he runs a food stall - a real rags to rags tale). When it
opened we found we were chronically underdressed having all
turned up in shorts and flip-flops and were haughtily denied
entry. Muttering excuses we quickly left disappointed, but
not before spotting a handful of the contestants entering the
building. The trouble is we still don't know who won, but I bet
it was No.15!
A different side of Penang was highlighted walking between
Little India and the Komtar shopping mall as Debbie, Nathan and
I found out when we had an unripe mango hurled at us from a
block of flats. The
next day I was heading the same to way to go and book my bus
ticket and as I passed the police station, conveniently placed
next to the flats, I saw a man holding a broken bottle to his
neck protesting about something or the other. Nice. These things
cease to faze you in the slightest after a few months in Asia.
Suddenly things that would shock or disgust you at home become
common place, for instance there was a dead rat decomposing
under a unit in our hotel in Penang and it was only discovered
when it started to smell bad, Robin suggesting they should take
the bins out. We didn't bat an eyelid as we watched TV in the
foyer and the owner extracted the rat!
All good things come to an end however and Scott and Robin
headed up to Thailand followed a couple of days later by Debbie
and Nathan heading down to Singapore to fly to Oz. I stayed in
Penang too long, heading out to Fort Conrwallis on my last day
before missing my bus to KL the next morning. I got the next one
however and a few hours later the bus turned a corner and two
massive towers loomed on the horizon, thats the Petronas towers
if you are unaware and it was, up until the day before, the
tallest building in the world.
Petronas towers, Kula Lumpur
So my final stop on my tour
(excepting Singapore which doesn’t really count because I have
already been there) is Kuala Lumpur, fondly known as KL. I have
to say it was a bit of an anti-climax and rather disappointing.
Whereas I found the rest of Malaysia to be far superior to most
places I have been, especially Thailand which is nothing
compared to the East coast of Malaysia, KL is rather boring, the
only real attraction being the Petronas Towers which became less
interesting the before I got here as that building in Taiwan has
been opened which is taller. But hurry to Taiwan to see it folks
because there is one being built somewhere in China which is
going to be even taller and should be completed by 2007. With
the Yanks still to paranoid to go ahead with plans to build the
tallest building on the site of Ground Zero (serves them right
for electing a president who thinks he is John Wayne) it seems
like Asia has this particular record tied up for the foreseeable
future. Anyway, I digress, so here is a summary of KL: the
Petronas towers, all very nice though you can only go to the
41st floor, but at 170 metres above the street its high enough.
Chinatown, an impressive range of fake goods on offer. Merdeka
Square, nice colonial architecture mixed with Islamic influences
and the free national history museum killed an hour or two. One
place that did make me laugh was the KL campus of De Montford
Uni (I can see the signs now "Leicester - Bedford - Kuala
Lumpur, smacks a bit of Del Boy methinks).
As I said, I have been greatly impressed by Malaysia and whilst
you have probably all heard me slate the British Empire to high
heaven I think being here in the colonial time would of been an
amazing experience, we seem to have had our head scewed on a bit
more, none of the chaos that marred British India or the crime
problems experienced in Burma.
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